| Last day of work was Friday. Thursday made me ready for it. Why?
So Wednesday Olivia (the mom) tells me that she and Sophia (the little girl) want to take a picture of their guinea pig, Bo-Bo for the calendar the local SPCA-like org puts out. Last year he was featured on the October page in his knit dress, high heels (made to fit guinea pigs) and cowboy hat get-up. Olivia says that Sophia was wanting to shoot for the November page, dressing Bo up as a pilgrim and [southern accent] "Maybe even tape one of those tiny cornucopia things to his hand. He won't like it, but it's good for him." What? Are you joking? But being that these people pay me to do whatever they want, I just smiled and pretended that it was a great idea.
Of course, as soon as I got home I told my parents about the terrible charge I'd been given. One of my biggest pet peeves is owners dressing their pets up like humans. The pets don't like it. It's just mean and weird. So for me this is like being asked to be an accomplice to a murder, but like I said, I only had a couple days left and they pay me to do whatever they want, so I didn't have much of a choice. Mom offers to let me borrow our cornucopia that she uses to decorate at thanksgiving. She also digs out some black felt for me and I cry softly to myself.
Anyway, after I set it up, fake fruit and all ('twas the best I could do), we hastily took pictures of Bo-Bo. The final result was one ridiculous picture and one terrified guinea pig. They didn't take his squeaking and stillness as terror, but contentment. Whatever. That guy looked like he was about to crap himself.
PETA is coming for me. Animal cruelty. 30-life. That's my sentence.
If that wasn't terrible enough, Sophia and I entered into an hour long game of "Girls Rule Investigations." Several days ago her mom noticed that the decorative telescope she keeps in her office was missing and I think she was starting to suspect me. Turns out Sophia had pilfered it to use in her "spy kit." This, among other "spy tools" (including a Barbie toy laptop) were used to conduct investigations about boy behavior and affection. The boys would send us 3-4 "clues" and one had to decipher what the clues meant. If you couldn't figure it out, you could always call one of his friends for help. Or something like that. Sophia picked on David because he's the only friend of mine she's met. For instance, Sophia "received" a Nordstrom bag, small box, and S/P beads from David which meant that he likes me because he enjoys shopping with me and that my ability to think outside the box makes me a Special Person. Soon, though, all of the groups of clues included either the telescope, magnifying glass, or broken digital camera which meant that he liked watching me from far away, watching me up close, and taking pictures of me when he's watching me...respectively. Eventually, she even encorporated a pink ribbon which was a clue to say that if David wanted to hang out and I wouldn't go, he'd tie me up and take me. This girl has seen too many Jonbenet news reports lately. Geez. So, David, if you're reading this (which I know you are--probably over my shoulder, you creepy stalker), Sophia has you figured out. The clues don't lie. |
Peace talks between the LRA and Ugandan government are entering their fourth day in Juba, the capital of South Sudan. Talks began on Friday night as both sides expressed their commitment to ending the war. However, talks became tense as the LRA delegation warned the government to not underestimate its fighting power. After threatening to walk out of talks, the government presented an offer to the rebels of amnesty and reintegration packages in exchange for disarmament and demobilization. The LRA responded with their position paper, calling for the Ugandan military to be disbanded, IDP camps to be dismantled and reparations for past ills caused by the government. Talks today are expected to focus on a ceasefire.
